Breath of Heaven

About this time of year I begin to think of Mary. Here she was about to deliver this baby. Most mothers know when their time is close and I think she did too. I think she began to get a little frightened not because this was her first baby, but because who this baby was going to be. The job of raising God’s son had to be frightening. Then she probably began to have doubts and wonder what she did to be chosen. I can’t even imagine her thoughts. 
As I reflect back on this year and all the speaking engagements God has put in front of me, when I think about all the opportunities to share God’s message with others, all the times I have prayed with others and then the new position of being on a Ministry Council and leading that is a little frightening. Just the other day I had an opportunity to sit and explain scripture to someone who is seeking to have a relationship with God. I have to wonder if God has chosen the right person for all of this. In no way do I consider myself anywhere close to Mary and all the things she did or accomplished, I do not even put myself in her circle, but I do have some of the same thoughts as she did when I think about how God is using me.
Recently, I have heard the song, Breath of Heaven. If you haven’t heard it yet, I suggest you download it and listen to it. It’s an awesome song in the words of Mary and all she was thinking on the night of Jesus birth. 
 I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven
Read more: Amy Grant – Breath Of Heaven Lyrics | MetroLyrics 
This song has to be my favorite new song. There are times I wonder what I have done for God to have chosen me to do His work for Him. I may not be carrying His son, but I am carrying His message to others and if I get it wrong, then I am ruining the lives of others. 
I get frightened every time I speak. One because I am in front of lots of people and two because of the responsibility it brings. I silently pray each time before I begin to speak that God would give me the words He wants me to share and that anything else said would fall on deaf ears. I never walk this path alone. I always ask God to be with me. 
I really like the chorus, “Breath of Heaven hold me together be forever near me breath of heaven light up my darkness pour over me your holiness for you are holy.” When I think of all the things God has me doing I expect Him to hold me together because I would lose it. There are times I still lose it, and then I have to remember its God who is holding me together and keeping me from losing it. Then there are times I am doing what God’s called me to do and I get criticized by someone for whatever reason. Those can be dark times and I often question myself, “Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing or what Becky wants to do?” That’s when I call on God’s heaven light to come down and pour His light on my darkness and light up my path. I want God to pour His holiness over me and follow in His footsteps, but it has to come from Him it’s not anything I can do. 
Then the last verse, “Do you wonder as you watch my face if a wiser one should have had my place but I offer all I am for the mercy of your plan help me be strong help me be, help me.” There are so many times I think God could have chosen someone else to speak for Him. Someone who is not afraid to speak in front of the crowds, or who is more knowledgeable about the Bible or one who has a degree or my lists go on. All I have ever wanted to do is give myself back to God. He gave us at this time of the year the greatest gift ever. I could never come up with something to give back to Him that would even come close, but I can give Him my life and let Him use it as He sees fit, even if it is beyond my comfort zone and like Mary more than I can bear alone. I need God to help me be strong and help me be and just help me. I cannot do the things He has called me to do on my own. 
As I think about the New Year I am just a little frightened. There are some things God has planned for me that I am aware of and other things I know He has not made me aware of. I am already praying about something that I may be asked to do later on in the year. Is this what God wants for me or what Becky wants? Will it benefit God or will it benefit Becky? For the mercy of your plan, God I offer all I am. 
You can say these same words as you struggle in your ministry God has called you to. It may not be speaking engagements, it may be a Mission trip or sharing the message of God’s love to others, or it may be in being more Christ like at work or you name it. If you have accepted Christ then God has a plan for you and a ministry. It might be different from others, but He has a plan that only you can fulfill. Are you willing to take this song on and make it your own?
I am so thankful for Amy Grant and Chris Eaton for writing it and I am grateful for our music director for bringing it to me in our worship service. It may be Mary’s song, but it could be our song as well if we are willing to let God have our lives in the New Year. 
Dear God: Thank you for David and the choir and His listening to you and bringing just the right music to my ears when I need it most. Bless Him and the choir as they lead us into the New Year. Thank you Jesus for those who write from the heart and from scripture. I can’t even imagine all those feelings Mary had to deal with, but like her I am amazed you have chosen to use me to share your message of love, grace and mercy. May your holiness pour itself out on me and may I never chose to go it alone, but go knowing you are with me always. There is no gift worthy enough for me to give you, but I can choose to give you my life and I choose to give you my life; may you use it as you see fit. Amen.

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