I am human and I go through human things. I have just come through something that I bet at sometime you have too. I really can’t put my finger on it though. For a few days last week I was feeling agitated, uneasy, and just not mentally myself. I don’t know why. I don’t know what caused it. I didn’t want to read my Bible, didn’t feel like praying, writing devotionals was not what I wanted to sit and do. I was out of sorts.
One of the devotions I do read and one I read yesterday was, “Jesus Calling Enjoying Peace In His Presence” by Sarah Young. I am always amazed at how each day talks to me. It started out like this, “Thank me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in my face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about my treatment of you. But once you step over the line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away.” Wow. Now I don’t believe I was at the point of rebellion; but I could say maybe I was at the point of complaining. But what did I have to complain about? Yes, my husband has been putting in anywhere from 45-50 hours a week at work, but I do appreciate the fact that he has a job. When he isn’t here the days and evenings are long and quiet. (I understand how widows must feel). Yes, my family is 18 hours away and I can’t just jump in a car and go see them or play with my grandchildren. Yes to all the other little agitations in my life, but they aren’t major and I shouldn’t be upset about these minor things. Yet, here I was. God was warning me to watch out. When you are down the Devil will strike. God began pulling me back the day before I read this.
I have a friend who knows how to handle family crisis situations. She deals with people who need counseling along life’s journey. She called on me Saturday to say she needed my advice on a situation her family was going through. We had talked earlier in the week and she was telling me about a situation they were dealing with and it involved her niece. When I got the call she was talking and I was thinking this is crazy she is the Counselor; I’m not. Why is she talking to me? As I listened to her and she talked I asked questions and sorted the answers out in my head. Finally, I saw the only solution to this situation and related it to my friend. She was so excited she hadn’t thought of that and it was the perfect and only solution. She was ecstatic and very grateful. She was going to pass it on to those who were more directly involved in the situation with her niece. I know God was with me in that call and helped me sort out facts that she couldn’t see because she was too close to the situation. I got off the phone and smiled. God in that moment reminded me why I am where I am for right now. He reminded me He has called me to be His servant and I must be obedient and ready to serve even when I am not feeling it.
Galatians 6:9 soon came to me, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” I believe there are times as humans we get tired of doing good. We get weary of being there for people who need us. There are times I don’t want to hear from another person that they don’t have a job, or they are in need of food, or they are homeless or they need medical attention. Then I think about Jesus and all the many lives He touched while on earth. I read about the many people that flocked to Him. Did He grow weary? I am sure He did. Did He get tired of healing people? I am sure He did. What did He do in those times? He went away by Himself and prayed. While in prayer I am sure God reminded Him of His purpose here on earth. Although I am not a minister I often think about how they are on call all the time as well. Do they get burned out and tired? I am sure they do. I am sure they go away and refocus on their calling as well. I think that is something all of us need to do from time to time. I think we all need to get away, pray and refocus. God has given me this verse as well today, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 I think there are times we need to wait on the Lord to renew our strength. When the time is right we will mount up on eagle’s wings and we shall once more run and not be weary, we will walk and not faint.
What do we do while we are waiting? We watch out for Satan to come along and try to wear us down. While we are in the waiting to be renewed time we have to be aware that is when Satan will try to come along and destroy our faith and tempt us to complain or lash out at God. That’s when self-pity and rage will take over. We have to be on alert and in prayer as we wait.
I waited and thank God my wait period was not a long one. I am still in the process of gaining new strength, but I have more than I did a few days ago, but not as much as I need, but I have hope that when I need the strength I need to do those things God has called me to do He will give it to me and my mind will be fresh and I will once again run and not get tired.
Are you tired? Are you running out of strength? Have you lost your focus? Join me in getting off alone and praying. Together let’s wait for God to renew our strength. Let God gently remind us that just like His Son we too need to rest and wait on Him.
The last part of that devotion goes, “Thanking me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to my Presence which overshadows all your problems.” I think for me I was beginning to run on my own steam and not God’s steam. This trial reminded me it’s not about what I can do for God, but what God can do through me. If I am tired and weary I am not a good vessel, so I must be in solitude and wait for the Lord to renew me. In the meantime I can thank God for reminding me I must use His strength and not my own.
I am sure someone is going through this too. It’s time for a bit of solitude and rest. I hope you join me.
Dear God: Thank you for reminding me Jesus went off by Himself for a time of solitude and to rest. I know Jesus must have gotten weary and was often tired. I see Him in the boat sleeping while the winds are howling and water is coming over into the boat. Not only was this a lesson for the Disciples, but I think it’s telling me Jesus rested. If Jesus rested then why do I think I do not need to? Thank you for reminding me it’s all about what you can do through me not what I can do in my own strength. I know I will once more be renewed, strengthened and refreshed, but it will be in your time. I have to wait upon you. Thank you for all you teach me. Amen