Going It Alone

Several years ago as we were going through some difficult times I was reading a Christian magazine. The name of the article and the magazine it was in is long gone. As I read the magazine I began to read these words, “Maybe part of trusting God is coming to the place where you realize there is nothing you can do for yourself anymore.” I was impressed with that statement. I took the time to stop and write it down and put it up in my office where I could see it every day. 
I was sharing this with my daughter. She wanted to read the article that had impressed me so much. I gave her the magazine and she read it from the cover to the very last page. She called me after reading the magazine and asked me what article I had found the statement in. I told her which one. She went back and read the article. She called me again the next day to tell me she could not find those words anywhere in the magazine. Being a mother I suggested she bring back the magazine and I would point the article and those words out to her. She brought back the magazine and I went straight to the article. I thumbed through the article to find those words. I couldn’t find them. I took the magazine and reread it from cover to cover and I couldn’t find those words either. I was amazed. 
I have heard people say God had given them words or pointed them in one direction or another. I had never experienced that before. So, I began to look at those words that I now came to believe God had given to me. What was it I needed to learn from these words?
This was early on my journey with Christ. I remember back then I would often try to fix things. I would try to do things my way and a lot of times they turned out all wrong. I also know that I would give things to God and tell Him I was turning them over to Him and then in a short period of time I would take them back again. This was also the time in my life when I experienced several loved ones passing away within months of each other. I would try to heal myself and convince myself I was fine instead of trusting God to heal me. I was trying to do it all myself instead of trusting God.
As I read this (this was before the little frogs showed up in my life) I took it apart. I realized I needed to start really trusting God. Because I had been to so many funerals I knew this scripture.  John 14:1, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”   This was another familiar trust scripture that I had learned even as a young adult. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”—Proverbs 3:5-6. Finally this one, “Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” I soon realized that was what God wanted me to start doing. I wish I could say I was a success at it. I believe He knew how difficult this would be for me so years later He thought it best to introduce me to the meaning of frog: fully rely on God. 
I had to come to that one place that made me realize I could not do for myself anymore. I was there. Everything I tried I failed at. I tried acting like I was fine when I really wasn’t. I tried pretending some things weren’t really happening. I even tried to be Super Mom and Daughter taking care of everyone, but me. Moses is an excellent example of this.  Exodus 18 (NKJV) “And so it was, on the next day, that Moses sat to judge the people; and the people stood before Moses from morning until evening. So when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit, and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?” And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a difficulty, they come to me, and I judge between one and another; and I make known the statutes of God and His laws. So Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself.” Moses was being judge to all the folks. He would sit and listen as the people came to inquire of God. When they had problems among themselves they came to Moses so he could figure it all out. He was wearing himself out. His father-in-law saw what was happening. He knew Moses wasn’t able to do this alone. I believe God saw I was doing all of this alone and sent me a message to let me know He was there to handle it when I was ready to give up. It was about this time I began to really trust in God. I began to realize I couldn’t do it on my own. 
A friend and I have recently talked to a man that is where I was. He has been going it alone. He has had one disappointment after another. People have turned their backs on him; things have not gone the way he had hoped. He was ready to give up. I suggested maybe he needed to quit trusting in himself and start trusting in the one that can make the changes in his life that he needed to make. He also admitted he had been running from God and not to God. 
This world wants us to believe we can make it on our own. Years ago Helen Reddy sang a song that said something about, “I am woman, I am strong, hear me roar.” I am here to tell you I am woman, but I am not strong in my own self. I am only strong because God lives, moves and has His being in me. I have since realized I can do nothing on my own and when I do it turns out all wrong. I have since realized I can do nothing without God’s strength. I have come to realize trusting God makes a whole lot more sense than trusting me.  
Where are you at right now? Do you trust God or are you still learning to go it alone? I had to come to the point I couldn’t do anything anymore. I had to trust in Him. I had to realize I was at that place where I couldn’t do for myself anymore because it just wasn’t working. If that is where you are at then write this down and make it a part of your life. 
“Maybe part of trusting God is coming to the place where you realize there is nothing you can do for yourself anymore.”
Dear God: Thank you for these words. I realize you gave me these words. Thank you for teaching me that I couldn’t do for myself any more. Thank you also that you were waiting for me to say I am at that place where I am ready to trust you and not go it alone. It has been a journey; it has been a long, slow learning process. I would like to say I have it down pat, but you know I still don’t always trust you in all things. Thank you for never giving up on me. I trust you more today than I have in years past, but I still have a ways to go. Continue to be with me on this journey and may I be more trusting this time next year. Amen. 

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